The Second Most Clicked Page on Your Website Is … Can You Guess?
August 10, 2012
It’s the second most clicked on page on most websites. That’s valuable real estate. You need to put your best foot forward.
Can you guess what it is?
Don’t cheat. Think. Don’t look right below this sentence where the answer is. Think really hard. Give up?
It’s the “About” or “About Us” page.
WHAT ABOUT IS ALL ABOUT
After reviewing a Gabazillion (that’s gabazillion with a capital “G”) of them I’ve finally figured out what the “About” page is really all about. A lot of people assume it’s supposed to tell prospects, customers, partners and passersby what you do, how you do it, why you’re different and why someone should buy from you.
IT’S ALL ABOUT ME
Not me per se, but you know what I mean. Most “About” pages proudly proclaim, “We’re the greatest in the world,” written in concise 92-word sentences. To understand how to craft an effective and truly great “About” page you need to grasp one key underlying secret element - and it’s psychological. I’ll only use one highfalutin word to explain it.
THE ONE REQUIREMENT FOR A GREAT “ALL ABOUT ME” PAGE?
All the great ones have it. Bumfuzzlement.
It has to leave the reader intellectually weeping with bumbuzzlement.
Drowning in discombobulation.
Shivering in salubrious solipcism.
Do that and you will have attained Hall of Fame “All About Me” status. But how to do that?
DO IT CLEARLY
You have to clearly mystify everyone into thinking you think you’re great. But they know you don’t really think they have no idea what you really think because they think no one could think and write the way you think and write. You absolutely have to make the simple complex, the complex unknowable, and the unknowable befuddling baffling. But, you MUST do it with such pompous profligate proliferating panache that the reader is totally …
UNIQUELY TALENT-LESS TALENT
I know. It sounds easy. But, deep down you really know it hard. Thinking using a plethora of useless words that have absolutely no meaning and add no value.
That’s a uniquely talentless talent.
It’s hard to string together 92-word sentences. I mean, where do you start – cutting? Only a professional “wordsmithing artiste” can do it. Like me. So, to give you a little hope, a little inspiration, I decided to use myself as an example. I studied the great master bumfuzzlers – real Renaissance Ruiners - and culled their wisdom into an “About Me” example. But, I have an ulterior motive. I’m going to use it for a new company I’ve formed to expand my Thoughtless-Leadership empire. It’s called the (drumroll) …
“Creative Strokes: The Geomerically Challenged Company That Will Challenge the Shape of Your Mind.”
So here goes.
ALL ABOUT ME
Squareballs Entertainment is a non-leading edge, next-to-lost generation, un-scalable (but eminently sellable), not seamlessly integrated (although certainly unseemly), robusted (once or twice at most), rigidly inflexible, world class (minus the “cl”), geometrically challenged (totally true), inchoate “Thoughtless Leadership” prepubescent publishing empire dedicated to stories that challenge the shape of the mind. At least his – or anyone else that got through that sentence and thinks they know what they thought was said and can say what they thought was thought when what was said was thought.
Do I rock or what?
Don’t try to crib it. I do have an open-source version you can try out if you want – but you’ll have to pay me to template this one. It was a lot of work. I had to get in touch with my inner-self to pull it off.
Both of them.
All About Me Image courtesy http://www.orangejelly.com.au/